Years ago, in my mid-twenties (shortly before I met my amazing husband, Michael) I was incredibly entrenched in the swamp of legalism. I heard the wise-sounding lies everywhere… from many places. My life was led by fear and worry that I would never measure up to the expectations of people.
The slime of law-based, performance-oriented religion came from all sorts of directions. All kinds of well-meaning people told me what I must add to my life (and add on to the Bible) in order to become better and more pleasing to God. Looking back, I believe this environment was rooted in fear, pride, and nice people generally wanting to control the outcome of my life.
Moms and dads told me they wanted their daughters to be like me. Young girls looked up to me. I was expected to be perfect and blameless. It was a heavy load to carry (maybe I’ll share more on that at another time). Day after day and year after year the weight pressed down on my heart as I struggled to make sure I never messed up.
One day, I was out for a short drive by myself and secretly turned on the Christian radio station (the one we weren’t supposed to listen to because it had “worldly music”).
“The Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns came on the radio and as they sang, my heart overflowed with the grace-saturated lyrics. I wept alone….
The song rocked my world.
What a fascinating concept of listening to the voice of truth instead of all the lies of dishonest charlatans disguised as men of God. I began to understand that God didn’t create us to live in our own echo chambers of agreement but to go into a life of risk, faith, and fulfillment in Him.
I realized I’d been living my life trying to fit into the mold expected of me, instead of embracing who I was in Christ.
Oh Jesus, what freedom You presented to me!
It wasn’t until I met my Michael that I fully comprehended grace, but this moment started me on a path I still continue to journey today.
I’ve had people tell me sadly and accusingly over the years that I’ve changed and that I’m not the “same old Stephanie”. Well, praise God that I’m not!
Some friends have broken ties with me because of finding my voice and speaking out against spiritual abuse, and legalistic, cultic-controlling religious leaders. Others have walked away when I’ve been honest about my own struggles. These breached relationships deeply sadden me. But I’m FREE.
Free to be who God created me to be.
“If you continue in My word then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. . . so if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” – Jesus (from John 8:31-32, 36)
“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)
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Obviously this is just a tiny sound-bite of my story, but I hope I can honestly and openly express my gratitude for the depth of his mercy and grace toward me.
He knocked out the giants of legalism and oppression with a stone of grace and I’m never going back.
These lyrics still bring a balm of freedom over my soul and tears to my eyes! I will never be able to thank Jesus enough for what He has done in my life and still continues to do.
The Voice of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing wavesTo step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out his handBut the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failedThe waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truthOh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant, With just a Sling and a stoneSurrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors, Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to standBut the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failedThe giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truthBut the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them looking downI will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over meBut the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believeBecause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to You
Listen to “The Voice of Truth”:
August 3, 2018
Stephanie, I have had to rethink my past, many times. God also freed me from the depth of legalism. I get it!
love your story.
Jane
August 3, 2018
Dearest Stephanie. I just read your beautiful story. So touching honest true as you grew in the Lord Jesus in your journey of life to where you are today. You and Micheal are so talented in every area of life. Your love for JESUS is so evident in your lives. Looks like you both have just begun. Am so proud of the 5 of you and love you more than you will ever know.. GOD bless you all and all you are called to do. Grand ma Apple.